Cortes Family

Do you remember learning to drive a standard shift vehicle for the first time? Did you pop the clutch out and it would stall?

I remember trying to learn how to drive a standard. Two years of one person after another trying to teach me how to gas, clutch and shift without stalling the car before I could at least hit 5mph. It wasn’t pretty. After getting frustrated with one person, I would wait several months before I ran into someone else who would say, “I can teach you. Really, I can.”

The last person who ever tried to teach me was my cousin. We had always lived on opposite ends of the country, and I had just recently become acquainted with her. We’d been hanging out for several months, getting to know one another when the conversation came up.

“I can teach you. Really, I can.”

I had heard that before! But she followed it up with, “Everyone I have ever taught was driving around within 30 minutes.”

Well, that was a boast I could not let go. After all, NO ONE had ever been able to teach me before. Boy, was she in for a surprise!

So, we went out to her car. She ushered me behind the wheel, got in the passenger seat, and instructed me to start the car. Easy enough so far.

“Push in the clutch.” Done.

“Put it in gear.” Done.

“Give it a little gas.” Okay.

“Let out the clutch slowly.” Hey no one ever told me to do that before.

“When you feel it grab, freeze your foot on the clutch.” Hey! I could feel the gas/engine/wheels start to grab a little.

“Now give it more gas till the car starts to roll.” I’m rolling. I’m rolling!

“Once the car has a good roll going, let the clutch out the rest of the way.” Yippee! I have it moving!

“Unbelievable”, I had thought that day. I had never before gotten anything but a movement and a stall. But, you see, no one had every said anything to me except “Let out the clutch as you give it gas.” If you follow THOSE directions literally, you are bound and destined to stall.

When giving directions, have you ever taken your directions for granted? Did you know them so well that you were unknowingly leaving some steps out? Or did you do it knowingly, because you didn’t want them to be too cumbersome or too insulting.

I once wrote a memo with step-by-step directions for a computer task. This task was taught in a class conducted just that previous Friday. When the participants of the class had received that memo, they had looked at it and threw their hands up in defeat. Their thoughts, “We just learned how to do this in only eight steps and now it’s twenty-five!”

For those who knew how to do it on Friday, it looked like I had invented steps. But they didn’t truly need those directions. I needed to include all the steps, because there were some people out there who didn’t get it the first time around. I had to clarify every step. And after explaining this, those who complained about the extra cumbersome directions, understood why it was needed. But more importantly, the others got it this time. Now everyone could do it.

So next time, try it your normal way. And if they can’t “do it right”, step back and take a second look at your directions. Maybe a couple more details could make all the difference in the world.

Copyright 2007 Michael Cortes

Not long ago, I got sick. Sick enough that I ended up going to the emergency room. As the men out there know, we don’t go easy. From a man’s point of view, whatever may ail us will certainly get better on its own if we just ignore it long enough. But on this day, “ignore therapy” was not working and had just made me feel so much worse.

I woke at 2 am sure that some animal has just reached it claws down my throat and scratched out whatever used to be there. My throat was so very painful. Joining that pain, was shooting pains through my jaw, and in my ear. For any of you who have had a migraine, this pain was so very bad that I was wishing I could just have a good ol’ migraine instead of this.

So there I was, walking into the ER and I couldn’t imagine feeling more miserable.

My visit in the ER consisted of seeing four different people, answering the same question for all of them, and getting cleared for strep throat. That was the good news. After the doctor saw me, I was diagnosed with a throat infection and an ear infection. I was given a prescription and sent on my way.

Now please understand this. Through my rounds of staff, questions, and answers; I repeatedly asked if they would treat the pain. I had understood that they would treat the cause, but I wanted the pain treated as well. It didn’t work that way. On the way out the door, I asked one more time and was told to take some Tylenol.

I realized something that day. I, the customer, had walked in the door that day wanting help. I had left that ER feeling just as bad as when I had walked in. Feeling…..not helped.

Was it because they were incompetent? Did they just not care? I am sure that all the medical personal I met and the ones I didn’t meet, are professionals that even today want to help and heal. Same thing I wanted. They did a wonderful job healing. I am sure my medications were going to fix me right up, as they planned.

But was I helped? I believe that they were convinced so. They had helped to heal someone in distress. That, to them, was help. And they had efficiently moved on to help others.

I on the other hand, I wanted a different help. I knew I was on the way to being healed. I didn’t feel helped when I had left.

You see, I work with my assistant in schools, helping staff who are having troubles with computers. The two of us take care of the 900 computers, 20 servers, and all the computer network cables and equipment. In order to do that, we try to be as efficient as possible. The less time we spend talking with people and explaining what we do, the more time we can spend fixing problems that are occurring with the computers. This allows us to fix more peoples computers, thereby helping more people.

But my realization that day? Here it is. If people don’t feel helped, it doesn’t matter how many problems we fix. It was time to spend a little more time making people feel helped.

Copyright 2007 Michael Cortes

Welcome to the thougts of a experienced dad, just getting on in the world. As I progress in my new blogging quest, I will try to share my thoughts, achieve some wisdom, and maybe hold an ocassional ebay yard sale. It’s nice to be here.